Trigger Mortis' Pickled Pecker Casserole

So in my never ending fitness quest, I am trying to stay away from salt, but eating food without salt is like derby without a pivot line start. (What? We still have a pivot line start? Why didn't someone tell me?) Ok, better analogy; eating food without the flavor of salt is like derby without Smarty Pants. Or Dumptruck.

So, in an attempt to recreate the flavor of Dumptruck, I give you...my Pickled Pecker Casserole;

• 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts (aka the pecker)
• 1/2 cup of low sodium dill pickle juice
• 1 tablespoon of olive oil
• 1 cup of parboiled rice
• 1 cup of water
• 3 large mushrooms, sliced
• 1 celery stalk, chopped 
• 1/2 cup of chopped purple onions (they don't have to be purple. I just like it.) 
• 1 shucked ear of corn
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 1/2 tsp chile powder

1) Take two boneless, skinless chicken breast, wrap them loosely in dental dam (saran wrap) and beat those peckers until they are only a half inch thick. Remove from wrap and cut each breast into two equal parts.

2) Pour pickle juice in a large bowl and add the chicken. Marinate for 30ish minutes. Or 15 minutes if you're impatient. Or 2 hours if you're a procrastinator like me.

3) Remove the kernels with a knife from the ear of corn and set the corn aside in a bowl.

4) Heat the olive oil in an oven safe pan. Once oil is hot, add rice. Brown the rice in the pan for a couple of minutes, stirring constantly.

5) Add the water, mushrooms, celery, onions, garlic, paprika and black pepper and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. (This will help decrease the amount of time you have to bake the casserole.)

6) Remove chicken from the marinade and lay it seductively across the top of the rice mixture. Pour in the left over pickle juice from the marinade bowl.

7) Sprinkle the corn, then the chile powder evenly across the chicken and rice

8) Cover the pan with an oven safe lid or aluminum foil and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.

And that, my friends, is how you pickle a pecker and put it in a casserole.
I think Dumptruck would be proud.